Epic Paint Battle!
by Dificult Simplicity
Summary: Ed goes to Roy for some extra money and is told to paint his house. After getting distracted a battle between friends ensues! But instead of blood, paint is being spilled. Oneshot and slight OCCness with alot of characters


**Well, Heres to distractions from Tears of Darkness. I will finish it, but I got distracted.**

**Ed: Wow I'm OOC in this arent I?**

**Nami: Everyone is! Except Al**

**Al: T^T why just me?**

**Nami: cause your too cute to change **

**Al: Yaaaay Im cute!**

**Envy: She meant personality, idiot**

**Al: T^T meanie!**

**Ed: dont dothat to him!**

**Envy: Do what, my adorable little chibi**

**Ed: shhhhhhhhhhhhhh not around Al!**

**Winry: ED! ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THAT PALM TREE AGAIN?**

**Ed: Crap.**

**Envy: IM NOT A PALM TREE! **

**Winry: then wtf is with your hair?**

**Envy: I can change it watch. -Transforms into a sexy chick with pigtails and big watermelons-**

**Winry: O.o**

**Ed: O.o**

**Al: T^T**

**Nami: -plays Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake while Envy is strutting her stuff-**

**Ed: TAKE IT OFF! WOOOOO!**

**Envy: -starts stripping-**

**Winry: -covers Als "eyes"-**

**Al: Whats going on? -envys shirt lands on his helmet-**

**Roy: -.- Nami-chan does not own FMA or any of the characters, if she did this -points to the scene behind him- would happen alot. Also she does not own Sexy Back. Though she is bringing sexy back**

**Nami: Yeah!**

(The Flame Alchemists Pov.)

One more day. Only one more day. One more day of this annoying paper work. Then I can sit back, and watch Bleach. Though last week was a filler. I wonder if Ichigo is going to be in the next episode. "YO COLONEL BASTARD!" I looked up from my thoughts to see my favorite little bean.

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" I lifted my current paperwork to prove my point.

"Yeah right! You were probably thinking about tomorrows Bleach episode!" What? How'd he know? Damn he's good.

"Alright you caught me. But anyways what do you want?" He shifted in front of me. Hm wonder what it is. Maybe he finanly came to admit he's short. Ha, like that'll ever happen.

"Well, I need more money to pay our rent, so um…." Oh I see what's going on. I sighed setting down my paperwork and taking a sip of my Coke. He's going to ask for a raise in Five, Four, Three, Two. One. " Do you have any extra work you need done so I could earn the extra money?" I choked on my Coke.

(Edo's Pov)

"What do you mean, Fullmetal? Are you telling me to give you chores?" He started laughing. Laughing! No one laughs at the FullMetal Alchemist! Well I guess it is kinda funny. I mean, I, the FullMetal Alchemist, the Alchemist of the people, is asking for chores. I mentally face palmed. Now I seem more like a kid to him.

"We'll are you gonna give me one or not?" I've. Reduced. To. Begging. Must. Flee. Now.

"Well, I guess my house could use a new coat of paint. It's kind of…bland. I guess I could pay you twenty bucks for that. Is that good enough?" What? Is he kidding? Really? Yes! One more month in the crappy apartment!

"Really? Thank you so much! Al is gonna be happy!" He smiled at that. He wrote down the address and what time would be good for me to come over.

"So 10:00 am tommorow? Mkay." I turned to leave.

"Fullmetal, are you going to have Al over as well?" I thought for a moment and turned back around.

"Nah, I don't want any paint to somehow get on his blood seal. Plus if you have spiders crawling around your house he'll be up a tree faster than a cat running from a dog." We both laughed at that and I turned again waving behind me. "Thanks again, Colonel!" I have to tell Al the good news!

(Next Day, 10:30 am Mustangs Pov)

Where is that brat? He makes a promise and doesn't show. Wait, what is that? Is he running down the street? Why didn't he take a cab? HOLY SHIT! I saw Ed running down the street, and behind him, a huge crowd of fan girls screaming and 'kya'ing . So that's why he was running. I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

"Mustang! Open the door quick!" I opened the door as told and a flash of red and blonde flew in. I quickly closed it before any of the savages could get in. "Thank you! I thought they would never leave me alone!" I noticed the girls quickly dispersed as they saw I was glaring at them.

"You're wearing your favorite coat painting?" He looked at me before smiling.

"Hell no! I was going to take it off. D-u-h!" He then grabbed the edges of his coat slowly pulling it off. I rolled my eyes, this kid might be able to go undercover as a stripper. I snickered at that, haha Ed a stripper. Once he was done stripping of his coat and throwing it aside and after he was done doing a bunch of poses, he smiled at me again. "Ready~ Now where do you want me to paint?"

"Well, Mr. Stripper, I want you to paint the whole entire house, top to bottom, front to back. And if you do a good enough job you might get extra. How's that sound?" His eyes burned with excitement. Really how can you get excited about painting?

"Sweet!" He grabbed the paint that was sitting next to the door and ran outside.

(Four hours later, The front and sides of the house are completely painted, and now Eds Pov)

Wooo! Only one more side till I get twenty bucks. I turned the corner and froze. Al would have fled the whole neighborhood by now. The whole wall…was covered in spiders. Mainly daddy long legs but still spiders. I dipped the brush in the paint and tried to paint around the spiders. I accidently painted over one of the baby spiders that was crawling around. At first I was sad that I killed the stupid thing (it was stupid cause it crawled in front of me) but after a while it as kinda funny. I saw another spider and took a huge glob of paint and flicked it on it. It ran around for a while avoiding the globs until one landed on it. It's legs stuck out of the paint like it was trying to break free.

Soon I was mummifying tons of spiders. I saw a huge one and named him Pharaoh Aracnia. He got the biggest "tomb" out of all the spiders. Soon all of his faithful servants were running from the rage of the almighty Fullmetal Anubis.

"Die! Join the rest of your Egyptian spider buddies!" I slashed more paint on the spiders. They ran for they lives trying to crawl in gaps only to be squished by paint brush. How I got the Egyptian theme for my little "game" I'll never know but I honestly didn't care. I flung more paint around.

"Hey, Fullmetal, I thought you would be thirsty so I brought you som-" A glob of paint hit the Colonels face. He drobbed the tray of lemonaide he was holding and picked up a brush. "Fine! Wanna play that way do you? Take this shrimp!" He flung a glob of paint at me!

"Oh, it's on now!" Soon paint was flying across the yard often splashing on both of us.

(Rizas Pov, oh you thought this would be just a Ed and Roy fic? Nu Uh! The more the merrier!)

I walked up to the Colonels door. Hopefully he didn't forget about this being the crews night out. I knocked a few times and looked back at the car. Breda, Havoc, Falman, and Furey were all in the car waiting. I sighed and then turned my head when I heard noises coming from the back yard. Is there a fight going on? I quickly ran around to the back only to have paint splash my face. I looked around and saw Ed and Roy flinging paint back and forth at each other. I cleared my throat, loudly I might add. Both turned towards me and laughed.

As they were laughing I picked up a paint brush and walked over to Roy who was rolling on the ground laughing. I dragged the paint brush over his face, painting it white. He stopped laughing, and Ed, who was on the other side, laughed even harder. Roy glared and flung a glob at Ed that hit him head one. Both me and Roy started laughing. Ed got back up and flung paint at me. It spattered on my shirt that I spent $50.00 on. But I didn't care!

"What…the…hell?" We turned to see Breda, Havoc, Falman, and Furey all standing there in shock. Well except for Havoc, who had a hug glob of paint on his face. They were about to speak again when another glob that came out of no where came and flew onto Furey, splattering all over his sweatshirt. I turned and Edward was laughing his ass off. I turned back to the crew who all now have paint brushes. Soon the battle of paint began again.

(Envys Pov O.o where the hell did he come from)

"Luuuuuust, when we get there can I eat him?" Ugh that tube of lard is so annoying.

"No Gluttony dear, we need him as an important sacrifice." Of coaaaarse we do. That's why we are currently stalking him.

"There he is! Finnaly! I get to kick that Chibi's ass!" We walked to the backyard of who ever's house this was. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant blob of white came (A/N DON'T! JUST DON'T!) and hit Gluttony, knocking him over. Both me and Lust looked at where the glob came from. It's like we walked in a war zone. Paint was being flung across the small lawn, and the person who flung the paint at us froze. This caused the war to cease. Everyone looked at us, jaws dropped. I was about to introduce us when a glob of white hit my face. I looked at the attacker and smiled. "Well, well, if it isn't a certain shrimp."

"WHOSE SO SMALL THAT THEY CAN GET BURIED IN A DROP OF PAINT LIKE A SPIDER WHOES NAME WAS PHARAOH ARACNIA?" the fuck?

"Edward no one said that." The Flame face palmed. I walked over to the blonde chibi.

"Now, what the fuck is going on?" He thought for a moment, opening his mouth ocasionaly, then closed it to think again.

"I don't really know. Wanna join?" He smiled and wiped a paint brush down my face. Everyone gapsed.

"Ha! Alright!" I grabbed a paint brush and painted his face pure white. Then the battle was on again. I even saw Lust join in and fling paint at that blonde chick. Gluttony eventually got up and started to help Lust by flinging more paint. I laughed as I was bombarded by white. I splashed the Flame and then I was glomped by the chibi. Soon everyone dog piled on top of me. "Hahaha get off! Ok really! Gaaah this hurts!" Everyone got off except the blonde boy. We both started laughing.

"What is going on back here?" We all looked back and everyone except me, blondy, Lust, and tubbo saluted. The "almighty" Furher walked into the back and looked around. "Having fun are we?"

"Yes sir!" They all yelled at once, which hurt my ears. Again they all froze when a white glob landed on the Furher's shirt. Everyone turned to stare at my chibi (A/N Possesive aren't we, envy?). He just kept laughing, oblivious to the looks of astonishment. They were astonished even more when the Furher started laughing. He also picked up a paint brush and flung some paint. Once again the battle started.

(Back at the Elrics Apartment and Al's pov.)

"What's taking brother so long? He should be home by now. Maybe I should go check." I got off my nice soft couch and closed my book. I locked the door and started jogging towards Mustangs. When I got there I heard laughter. Sounds like brother. I turned to corner very stealthily and saw brother and everyone else flinging paint at each other. I inwardly laughed and snuck around to one of the cans of paint. And being the stealth master I am, I snuck up on brother and dumped the whole can on him.

" what was that for?" He wiped the paint from his eyes and smiled.

"That's for keeping me from the fun." We both laughed.

"Oh that's right! Hey Mustang! Im still getting paid right?" Everyone glared at Mustang. I guess they didn't know Ed was getting paid for this.

"Sure sure why not." He laughed.

"Oh my gosh! Look what time it is! Guys we have to go! The movie starts in thirty minutes!" Hawkeye ran away with Breda, Havoc, Falman, and Furey. I heard a car start up and they drove away.

"Well I have to get back to my paperwork. Don't forget Mustang there's a meeting on Tuesday. I'll see you there." Then the Furher walked away.

"Come on Gluttony we have to go to." Lust walked away with Gluttony in tow.

Now it was just brother, Roy, Envy, and me. "So what started this?"

"Well I got here after the military. I joined when he painted my face." Envy smirked.

"I was splashed in the face by Fullmetal. How did I get splashed anyways?" Roy glared at brother.

"Well, um, I was goofing off my burying spiders in paint." He walked over to the pure whit wall and pointed to a huge bump. "This is Pharaoh Aracnia! He was my favorite. Oh my god! Theres a spider!" He grapped a paint brush and splashed it on the spider. "FEAR THE MIGHT OF THE FULLMETAL ANUBIS!"

"Brother…" I grabbed his ear and pulled him home.

"Noooooooo! I wanna find a Queen Araneae!"

**Hahaha how was that?**

**Al: you made Brother a murderer!**

**Nami: Um how so?**

**Al: he killed spiders!**

**Nami: -.- anyways if your wondering where I thought of that scene It happened in real life. I was painting outside and a brown spider crawled out from one ofthe crevises. I started splattering him with paint until i gave up and painted over him. Then his little corpse looked like a tomb so I named him Pharaoh Aracnia. I called myself Anubis and was killing all the little spiders. It was a quick way to paint the house acctually.**

**Ed: wow so your Add and sadism brought up this ficcy?**

**Nami: Yes! though im not that big of a sadist -is thinking of all the dead spider bodies and crushing them-**

**Ed: your hopeless**

**Envy: Reply or I'll strip again!**

**Ed: Don't reply! Don't! Make him/her strip!**

**Envy: -.-ll**


End file.
